Tassels are for Climbing

Many thanks to Cathy for her very generous donation.

Do Your Own Walkin'

In the process of begging for money, I've talked to quite a few people who've said things like, "Yeah, I've always thought about doing something like that but I really didn't think I could raise that much money." Or "I can't walk THAT far!"

So I present to my internet public a safe and easy alternative:

The Details:

All ages, non-competitive 3-5 mile walk, depending on the location.

No pre-registration and no registration fees.

"Participants are not required to raise a minimum amount and pledges are made for your participation rather than per mile. ... Money may be turned in at registration."

Proceeds to benefit the American Cancer Society and their 'four-fronted' mission: research, education, advocacy and patient services.

The walks take place in October ALL OVER the country, so I'm sure you can find one near you. The ones nearest me:

10/15/2006 Boston, Hartford
10/22/2006 Providence


And October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month, what better way to contribute?



DIY Charity. Do it for the boobies.

Unicorns are Fancy

I am constantly overwhelmed by the support and generosity of others.

A GREAT BIG Thank You to Edie for her donation and for putting me in a very comfortable and confident place just about one month before the event.

I was starting to doubt, children, but no more. $500 left to go!

My Body is a Temple

... a broken, rotting temple that strangers occasionally stand on for photo opportunities.

You know, I take these photos from Yahoo Image Searches and I often wonder if anyone is using my Yahoo photos--found during a search for... I don't know, "wee monkey" or "wendy face"--for their blogs... but then I remember that I had a point and that I should probably get back to it.

This evening, before karate, I was stretching--whilst being yelled at by an emotionally unstable little boy who probably needs a babysitter while his mother is in her Cardio Kickboxing class rather than being left alone in a waiting room with a bunch of strangers at whom he repeatedly yelled, "You're Not Doing Karate in HERE! Don't YOU DARE!" Mmhmm. Good parenting. Anyhoo, I was stretching, using mostly yoga poses Yogini Kathleen taught me and chillin' in the yoga mellow when POP POP! Huh? POP! POPPOP!

Whatwhat? Gun shots?! No, those were my hips casually readjusting themselves. I then ran three laps around the room--not, by the way, of my own volition but as a warm-up with the class--and the hippers felt just fine. Is this the end of my hipptastic hurties?!?!?!

No, probably not. My joint issues go beyond a little DIY chiropracy. I'd love to know how much but that would mean Mr. Doctorman would actually have to review my chart and he's much too busy and important for such things. sigh.

But I won't forget that pose anytime soon.

Closer and Closer to the Wire

Many thanks to Mihn and Amy for their generous donations.

Look at Me! LOOK AT ME!

Hips Don't Lie

I don't even want to talk about it... how bad that training walk was. It was bad. It was chock full of pain and lacking in motivation and I am feeling like a supreme loser for not sticking it out and doing more miles.

I'm starting to get a little discouraged, children.

Lacking in Motivation

There was a time in the history of me when I could get up before 10 on the weekend. I could do several hours of work before my neighborhood even woke up. I could start a training walk while the temperature was still pleasantly cool and the sun still hid behind trees no matter where I was. I'd walk several miles, taking only a few hours and return home full of energy to use in productive ways throughout the rest of the day.

Today... brushing my teeth is the hardest thing I've done this morning and at one point I wasn't sure it was worth the effort.

I'm so tired. And this after 10 hours of sleep. And a 3 hour nap yesterday. After 10 hours of sleep.

I might need to walk straight to Dunkin Donuts (which sadly, is only 0.6ish miles) and turbo charge before I can even think of how may miles I should be walking. How are these other women walking 15 miles twice a weekend and at least 5 twice a week? Maybe the 3 DAY is for people with no hobbies, who work closer than 2 1/2 hours from home, who don't require any sort of sleep, and are clearly cyborgs programed to love the color pink and cry on cue.

I'm starting to hate the color pink.

And my sneakers.

And 10 am on weekend mornings.

Random Pictures: Mom on a Training Walk

.

I showed her how to do that. See?

Where It Is, What It's At, When It Does, Who It Be

Just an update, for the record:

I'm stalled out at $1430 with $770 left to go. I'm thinking I might send out another email. Maybe harass the myspacers again. Do a little "boobie spamming" so says Kristen.


I finally got some of that Body Glide stuff from PR Running in Westboro where the sales man, a runner himself, praised the product's heavenly virtue even after I'd paid for it. I haven't used it on a training walk but I have used it while wearing a skirt on a hot day and it really did prevent the chafing. I keep hearing that it works well on your feet, too, so I'm gonna have to give that a try.

Also, homeboy gave me the 10% 3-Day discount when I mentioned that I'd heard about the product at a FOCUS meeting. Rock. Them's good folk.

Oh and I'm walking this weekend, by George. I've been busy and sick and broken and... slacking but this weekend, I'm walking. 800 milligrams of Ibuprofen (doctor recommended to prevent inflamation), a few swipes of Body Glide and nothing to do on Sunday but walk til I can't walk no more.

Here ends the update. More to follow ...

Declaration

I make jokes. It's true. I like to entertain. But it's come to my attention recently that maybe those jokes serve to distract from my sincerest intentions to do something meaningful and to help people in a significant way. So no jokes today.

Instead, I'll tell you a story.

November 2000. I was sixth months out of college and living in a two bedroom apartment above an antique jewelry shop in West Hartford, CT. I worked part time as a waitress in a golf club restaurant frequented by rich old women who tipped no more than five percent and part time as an English tutor at my alma mater. I was broke, uninsured, directionless, a burden on my extremely supportive roommate and I drove a 1984 AMC Eagle, nick-named "The Death Trap" based on the diagnosis of a very concerned mechanic. This was when I found my lump.

It couldn't have been any earlier than 9 a.m. when I shuffled to the bathroom, robe in hand, to prepare for a day of volunteering at the University's Women's Center where it wasn't uncommon to hand out flavored condoms and encourage the inconsiderate groping of a pair of rubber demonstration breasts implanted with a imitation cancer cells that, when examined properly using the standard BSE procedure (pdf) simulated initial breast cancer detection. Mmmm, delicious irony.

It was that morning, as I waited for them old shower pipes to deliver any temperature other than arctic, that I put hand to breast and discovered the aberration, an alien on familiar landscape, that instigator of panic, that foreign object roughly the size and shape of a bb.

I honestly couldn't tell you my initial reaction. I remember getting in the shower. I remember going to the WC. I remember going on with my life.

And a month later, I remember telling Anne, the nurse practitioner, at my annual pelvic exam. She called it a "definite cause for concern" and advised an immediate mammogram. Oh but I'd done my homework. I knew that mammograms were rarely helpful in diagnosing breast cancer in young women because of the density of younger breasts. And if the futility of the action wasn't enough of a deterrent, then the extreme lack of health insurance to pay for it was. At the tender age of 22, I wasn't eligible for any of the programs that provided free mammograms for uninsured women.

For the next three months, I received periodic phone calls from Anne reminding me to take that next step. It was only after I read her the balance on my checking account statement that she realized what an obstacle that next step was. Like a champ, though, she campaigned for assistance. Eventually, she managed to secure me an appointment at the Women's Center of Southington whose beneficiaries were willing to bend their age limit to accommodate me.

The mammogram, of course, yielded inconclusive results. Step three: ultrasound.

Another three months passed before Anne came to my rescue yet again. In the meantime, I managed to convince myself that I had breast cancer, that I was going to die and that there was nothing I could do about it. I made jokes (and the pattern emerges), I verbally bequeathed my belongings to whomever was in my good graces and I even named my lump with the help of a friend. I oscillated between hopelessness and denial for three long months until finally, Anne made me an offer I couldn't refuse: $75 for an ultrasound at the Imaging Center of West Hartford. Don't ask how; just say yes.

To this day, I don't know who paid for the rest of that ultrasound but I remain eternally grateful. And when the doctor pointed at the screen and said, "See this? This is it. Just a cyst." I thanked every god and goddess whose name I could recall. I think I even made up a few.

So when, this past January, I was searching the internet for my next great adventure and came across the 3-DAY site, I stopped, I thought, I reflected and I felt certain that this was my mission:

I didn’t have cancer. This summer, I’ll walk for those who do, and those who might,

in gratitude to those who helped me.

No joke. This is the most important thing I've ever done. I'm terrified. I'm excited. I'm concerned that I won't make my fundraising minimum. I'm certain that it'll hurt. But I'm doing it. I'm walking 60 miles.

Cancer is Cancer; Support Where You Can

Show your support and help make the connection between Cervical Cancer and HPV

by ordering a FREE Make the Connection bracelet kit!

By ordering a free Make the Connection bracelet kit, you will be helping to advance cervical cancer education and outreach. For every pair of bracelet kits ordered, Merck will donate one dollar to Cancer Research and Prevention Foundation, up to $100,000, for cervical cancer awareness and screening programs among medically underserved women.
Kits can also be ordered over the phone 888-4-HPV-CONNECT (888-447-8266).

www.MakeTheConnection.org

I Have Officially Run Out of Tassel Comments

Many thanks to Kate and Shawn for their donations!

"He Changes From Doctor to Handsome Date!"

Still waiting to hear back from Mr. Doctorman about my joint issues. My hippalicious hurties. He was supposed to call today but... they never do call when they say they will, do they?



I had a chat with my instructor, Steve, last night though and he highly recommends this junk called glucosamine? But I'm reluctant to add another pill to my arsenal unless I have to.

For now I'll just... suck it up and keep moving. What else can I do?

Nefarious Specks of Stealth Glitter

A glittertastic thank you to Diane for her donation!

Don't Be Jealous of My Rock Climbing Skillz

I went to Mr. Doctorman today to see about this hip thing. Details to follow.

For now, I present...

QUEEN OF THE GIANT, HARD-To-CLIMB MOUNTAIN!

On... Main Street of My Town. I also waved to passing cars.

P.S. My doctor wore tasseled loafers. I consider that a good sign.

Can You Find the Giraffe in This Picture? And If So... Can You Explain It?

Thank you to Tim for his generous donation!

You Should Add Some Tassels to Those Sparklepants

Shiny, twinkly thanks to Cap'n Sparklepants for his sassy donation!

Why These Tassels Could Be Sesame Street Characters

Bunches of thanks to Pat and Skeet and Rex and Nelsa

for their generous donations!

How to Cross a Rail Road Track

Because my training walk today was pathetic... too pathetic, in fact, to tell you how short it was...

I present the pictures from the training walk I did with the mom many... many months back.


Look right....

Look left....

Aaaaaaand LEAP!

Don't Swing the Beaded Tassels Unless You Want to Lose an Eye

Sparkly, beaded thanks to Brenda for her donation!

Scheming

A recent keyword analysis showed that some of my traffic is coming from people searching for things that I may have written once or twice. Things like Michael Scoffield and wet t-shirt contest. Things that might not necessarily have anything to do with why people should give me money. And I'm... ok with that.

And on that note, I present a list of keywords in a shameless effort to increase traffic:

Lindsay Lohan
World Cup
How to Fix a Leaky Faucet (I know for a fact that this one works.)
The Apprentice
Immigration
Shakira
Superman Returns
Brangelina
Prom Hairstyles
Myspace
DaVinci Code
Paris Hilton


COME TO ME, WEBCRAWLERS! Read of my blog. Give of your money. Spread the joy of Save a Pair via bulletins and forums and chat rooms! MUAHAHAHAHA!

Ask and Ye Shall Receive... Money

Yesterday, 'round this time, I needed $15 to hit the halfway point. Just $15... little dollars.

As of this evening, the money-o-meter reads $1,250 which, if you don't have a calculator handy, is $150 dollars OVER the halfway point.



And so I say thank you, thank you, thank you to the people who donated after having been mildly harassed: Evelin and Jothan

To the friends and coworkers of my parents, whose checks came in at a very convenient time: Liz, Arlene, Maureen and Rita

To my Dave's parents whom I should have let adopt me when they offered: Mary and Gordon

And to my Grammie and my Grampa: Elaine and Bob

Stormy Weather

I been thinkin'.

And I've got a good 15 minutes before my laundry's done so I'm gonna think online. And I'm gonna invite ya'll along for the ride. Fasten those seat belts, children.

As of this evening, I'm getting pretty close to the halfway point on the money-o-meter. About $75ish left? Something like that. And that's great. That's...

Well that's Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

But children... children. Where is the rest of that money going to come from? I have now tapped just about all of my friends and family and while I know, with their very generous and appreciated help, I will find myself well above the halfway point.... I'm not so sure there's another $1,000 out there.

And so we must brain storm!

Yes! With lighting and thunder and tasty tasty brains! AHAHAHAHAHAH!

The GI Janes and I had a wee chat over the weekend--a hypothetical, "wouldn't that be awesome," slightly inebriated chat--about this upcoming cookout. We talked about handprint t-shirts. We talked about wet t-shirt contests (which makes the party slightly less family-oriented than I had planned). We've got the Tiki torches so we could go with the Luau (sans pig roast) that I had originally conceived. But what will draw the people. What--other than free booze provided by yours truly--will convince people to 1) show up, 2) pay the entry fee once they show up and 3) empty their pockets of spare change?

There's also that yard sale thing but the logistics of that are... just painfull. Must chat with the mom and figure that out.

What else? WHAT ELSE?! Is it time to harass the local newspaper? Do I need to stealth some flyers up around town? Should I... start advertising Save a Pair by bedazzling my clothing with the web address?

Any suggestions?

BZZZZZT! Laundry's done.

Success

Mission: Get Rid of Cold--almost complete
Mission: Take Belt Test--successful
Mission: Plan Fundraisers--in progress
Mission: Train Like the Dickens--awaiting completion of Mission: Stop Being Sore from Belt Test

If nothing else, there's a date for the cookout: July 15th. Mark your calendars, local readers. I hear there'll be Tiki torches involved!

Sassy Tassel

Many thanks to Terry for her generous donation!