Calling Out Redneck
Shh. It's late. And I have to be up in about 6 1/2 hours.
I just went through all the boxes in the laundry room--from when I moved 2 years ago and never unpacked--and actually found some stuff to sell. That was the mission of the evening. A mission I didn't exactly complete...
But it SO wasn't my fault. Right after I started unpacking the first box, my dad came in and said, "D'ya see my new tractor?!" And I said, "No? You have a new tractor?" and he said, "Yeah! Wanna see?!" And I said, "Ok!" And then "seeing" turned into riding it around the back yard at 30 mph while I stood next to the driver's seat and held on for dear life. At one point, after a particularly nasty pot hole, I flashed forward to having to call in sick tomorrow because I broke my face when I ... fell off my dad's tractor. My mom told me later, I should have ridden in the bucket in back. She's so much smarter than me when it comes to surviving my dad's driving.
So after the tractor ride, I came back in and went back to work. I managed to turn about 20 full boxes into 3 1/2 boxes of stuff to sell, one box of clean laundry I've been looking for for 3 months, about 5 empty boxes and... 10 full boxes of stuff I wanna keep. When I whined about not emptying all of them, my mom said, "Some day you'll have your own apartment again and you'll want all this stuff." I waited for her to mumble something about "sooner rather than later" but she didn't. And then I... sniffled a little at the thought that I couldn't possibly afford to move out anytime soon. Jothan has suggested I start raising money for the Wendy fund since I clearly have a talent for guilting people into donating.
The Wendy Fund: Helping Wendy pay off her college loans so she can move out of her parents' house and have a real life again. All proceeds go directly to Sallie Mae.
Anyhoo, I gave up searching boxes about an hour ago, thinking, "Yeah! Still time for some treadmill action!" until I remembered that my dad vetoed the "SAVE A PAIR YARD SALE" poster my mom made. I suppose, out of context, that could be a little too vulgar for the likes o' this town. I suppose. So instead of waiting til tomorrow, when the mom and I are going to try to weasel our way into the storage unit, I thought I'd just throw together a poster tonight.
It took a bit longer than I'd hoped. But it's done and it's lovely. I'd take a picture but I haven't yet managed to figure out how to get the pictures from the dad's digital camera into the computer. It just laughs at me when I try. And then if it is, in fact, uploading them when it says it is, it saves them to the You Can't Find Me directory and I never see them again.
I'll just wait, then. Have the dad take the picture. His plan is to park Mr. Shiny New Tractor in the front yard and duct tape the poster to it. "Can't miss that," he says. And boy howdy is he right. Who doesn't stop to look at a bright red 1953 Toro tractor with a big pink sign on top?!
Like I said to my mom, though, when she lamented not putting signs out sooner, "We live on one of two major roads in this town and people stop in when we put any old trash out there. They'll stop for a yard sale. If you put crap on the sidewalk, they will come."
The tractor, however, is not for sale.
I just went through all the boxes in the laundry room--from when I moved 2 years ago and never unpacked--and actually found some stuff to sell. That was the mission of the evening. A mission I didn't exactly complete...
But it SO wasn't my fault. Right after I started unpacking the first box, my dad came in and said, "D'ya see my new tractor?!" And I said, "No? You have a new tractor?" and he said, "Yeah! Wanna see?!" And I said, "Ok!" And then "seeing" turned into riding it around the back yard at 30 mph while I stood next to the driver's seat and held on for dear life. At one point, after a particularly nasty pot hole, I flashed forward to having to call in sick tomorrow because I broke my face when I ... fell off my dad's tractor. My mom told me later, I should have ridden in the bucket in back. She's so much smarter than me when it comes to surviving my dad's driving.
So after the tractor ride, I came back in and went back to work. I managed to turn about 20 full boxes into 3 1/2 boxes of stuff to sell, one box of clean laundry I've been looking for for 3 months, about 5 empty boxes and... 10 full boxes of stuff I wanna keep. When I whined about not emptying all of them, my mom said, "Some day you'll have your own apartment again and you'll want all this stuff." I waited for her to mumble something about "sooner rather than later" but she didn't. And then I... sniffled a little at the thought that I couldn't possibly afford to move out anytime soon. Jothan has suggested I start raising money for the Wendy fund since I clearly have a talent for guilting people into donating.
The Wendy Fund: Helping Wendy pay off her college loans so she can move out of her parents' house and have a real life again. All proceeds go directly to Sallie Mae.
Anyhoo, I gave up searching boxes about an hour ago, thinking, "Yeah! Still time for some treadmill action!" until I remembered that my dad vetoed the "SAVE A PAIR YARD SALE" poster my mom made. I suppose, out of context, that could be a little too vulgar for the likes o' this town. I suppose. So instead of waiting til tomorrow, when the mom and I are going to try to weasel our way into the storage unit, I thought I'd just throw together a poster tonight.
It took a bit longer than I'd hoped. But it's done and it's lovely. I'd take a picture but I haven't yet managed to figure out how to get the pictures from the dad's digital camera into the computer. It just laughs at me when I try. And then if it is, in fact, uploading them when it says it is, it saves them to the You Can't Find Me directory and I never see them again.
I'll just wait, then. Have the dad take the picture. His plan is to park Mr. Shiny New Tractor in the front yard and duct tape the poster to it. "Can't miss that," he says. And boy howdy is he right. Who doesn't stop to look at a bright red 1953 Toro tractor with a big pink sign on top?!
Like I said to my mom, though, when she lamented not putting signs out sooner, "We live on one of two major roads in this town and people stop in when we put any old trash out there. They'll stop for a yard sale. If you put crap on the sidewalk, they will come."
The tractor, however, is not for sale.
posted by Wendy @ 11:16 PM
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